Mother’s Day is a celebration for most people. Children young and old buy cards and flowers to thank their mothers for everything they do. It is not a day you can avoid. Everywhere you go you see ads for gifts, hear about the day on the radio, television and internet.
For me mother’s day is not a celebration. Cancer took my mother when she was just 56 years old. She was not there when I got married or welcomed my son. I could not ask her for advice on my marriage, parenting, career, etc. More than twenty years passed since I lost her, but on days like this, the raw pain of losing her comes back.
The void of a mother’ love never leaves you, no matter how old you are. There are things I do not know about my mother, questions I wish I could ask her. But I cannot.
After my mother died, we found letters she wrote to my brother, my sisters and me. She had cancer for six years before she died. It was important for her to make sure we knew how much she loved us. I did not need her letter to know this, but her letter brings me immense comfort.
So if your mother is still with you, cherish her every day. Resolve any differences as best you can. Get to know her – really know her.
- Who was her first boyfriend?
- What was her favourite song as a teenager?
- What did she want to be when she grew up?
- Who was her best friend as a child?
- What is her favourite childhood memory?
There are so many questions to ask. Do not waste time, as you do not know when she will be gone.
No matter what your relationship is with your mother, if you are a mother you have a legacy to leave for your children. When your children are grown, they will want to know about their family history, your history.
I cannot write about Mother’s Day without mentioning another mother taken before her time. My nieces, Bella and Michaela, lost their mom, my sister in 2013. She was 43 years old.
So this Mother’s Day I remember my mum and sister and what wonderful moms they were. I think of everyone else facing this day without a mother. I also think of all the moms whose children are no longer with them, a pain I can only imagine.
Use Mother’s Day to make memories. Memories your children will cherish forever. And hug your mother and tell her how much you love her!